Do you remember the first noise that your son or daughter made? Or where you were when you found out that you were pregnant? That feeling of anticipation and pure bliss is what being a mother is all about.
Ever since I was little, I wanted children. I babysat since I was 12 and I just love kids. It was devastating to me when I had doctor after doctor tell me that my Endometriosis was Stage 3-4 and it would be very difficult to conceive children. Being the type of person I am, I didn’t take no for an answer and we found the best doctor in the city for infertility. He said we had options. Little did we know they would be painful in more ways than one. So for five years we went through every kind of procedure, drug, natural remedy, etc. In the process, we maxed out every credit card we had, lifetime benefit limit on both of our insurances and then some. We also put a strain on our marriage and my emotions.
For all of you mommies that go through this infertility struggle, I empathize with you. I had a really hard time with losing each round (2) of ISCI (Intra-Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection), IUI (1) and IVF (1). And honestly, I still have a hard time with the loss.
Our fabulous doctors talked us into doing one more round of IVF after a laparoscopy. I really didn’t have it in me emotionally, but I thought I could give it one more try. So we started the long haul. My mom gave me a necklace that said Expect a Miracle, and I did. Positive Thinking! We ended up transferring three little embryos. Scary now that I think back to it. And by the grace of God, one little miracle hung in there. We found out we were pregnant on Mother’s Day 2008.
When you wait over 6 years for something, the anticipation is tremendous. We had Caden Miles on 1/10/2009 and everything was perfect. He came quickly; actually a little too quickly. So they rushed him to the NICU for 1/2 a day. I was devastated. After 6 years of waiting I didn’t get to see my baby for 1/2 a day. Picture a bridezilla, but a mom version. So once I finally got my hands on him, I haven’t let go since. He is the picture of perfection. When this little person comes from you, a combination of the good from you and your husband, you can’t take your eyes off of them for days.
He is now 12. Those six long years when we struggled and I hated every pregnant couple I saw were super hard (sorry!). I am so blessed with what we were given. Many say it is not the destination; it is the journey. And I have learned so much through this journey. If it would have been easy to make our family, I would take it for granted. Now I can share our journey with so many who may be going through similar struggles. You are not alone in this. It is a very isolating place to be in. But reach out. Loss and building your family through unconventional means is hard. But good news mama; there are others out there doing it too. Just reach out a hand.
Are you looking for a family photographer? You have come to the right place? Drop me a line and let’s talk. Or call me! 832-573-3731. I would love to capture your family in a unique way. Now is the perfect time when everyone is home.